Some men do choose to make religion, prayer, and testimonies an explicit part of the bachelor party. Others, even the most religious, choose a more secular approach that may be at odds with their scriptures.

PETER M., a preacher's son, grew up in the church. As the pastor that runs the Men's Ministry at the Midwestern megachurch helmed by this father, Peter is sometimes asked for advice about bachelor parties. He tends to quote two pieces of scripture: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” (Corinthians 15:33) and “The spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak.” ( Matthew 26:41) Explains the pastor, “If it compromises your morals, you need to get out of there.”

I didn't have a bachelor party when I got married nine years ago. I didn't need one. I had been dating my teenage sweetheart for five years; I couldn't wait to get married. I was twenty-one and I was a virgin; I chose that. I didn't need a bachelor party to remind me what I was leaving—I couldn't wait to leave it, man. I mean, my friends couldn't give me what she could give me.

My cousin was a little bit of a late bloomer: he didn't get married until he was twenty-eight. And I planned his bachelor party; I wanted to do something that was special for him. I didn't study the whole bachelor party thing; I just began to think, “How do you throw a bachelor party for a guy that believes in God?”

I decided to center the entire party around what he likes—obviously not from a carnal standpoint. My cousin likes to eat, so we took him to a Japanese steakhouse; he loves to golf, we took him golfing; he loves movies, so we rented his three favorites; he likes to play cards—this is maybe where you get into a grey area—so we took him to a casino for an hour and a half.

We started at two o'clock in the afternoon and got done at three o'clock in the morning; it was a fourteen-hour event. He thought he was just coming over for a regular afternoon out with me, but I surprised him; I made calls to all his buddies from his hometown, and they all came up and were down in the basement hiding when he arrived. After about thirty minutes of talking and celebrating and letting the surprise wear off, I said, “Well bud, we have a 2:30 tee time and we need to get on that.” So I centered the entire day around the friends, the food, the fun, and the fellowship-type deal.

The fact that I took him to a casino was a big deal. For text-studied Christians, obviously there's no gambling. But I wasn't trying to be religious and I wasn't trying to be legalistic and predictable. That's one thing that always drives me nuts: when you have Christians that get together and everything's got to be a scripture, three points and a poem . Just have fun for a change! And that's why I did it for him.

We didn't pray together before we went. We didn't say, “Lord protect us, keep us safe and strong. May we not do anything unwise or unfit.” We just said, “Hey, we are going to have a blast; we have already planned out the entire day.” And I was saying in my heart, “I trust the Lord that it will go as planned and as I intended.” And it was just a fun day with his most favorite people, and he'll never forget it.

That's the thing about the Christian bachelor party: you remember what you've done and you don't have to worry about telling people what you did. There was no drinking or carnal or questionable activity involved. I think the cliché bachelor party is very disappointing; I don't see what's enjoyable about getting a person you call a friend all liquored up, wasting your money and watching him consume something—that being alcohol, that being a lady, that being a lap dance—the night or the weekend before he's getting married.

You can say the same thing about us going to the casino—maybe mediocrity ruled. But I put together the party so quick that I didn't have time to bring in a dealer and say, “Let's play with Oreos” or something goofy or cheesy. So, I thought, “Maybe going this one time won't hurt us.”

On the way to the casino, I did pray. I said, “Lord, I know this is something you don't approve of, but just for this section of time, it would be great to be profitable.” Now you could say that He answered my prayer, because I made $900. But the problem is I don't agree with gambling at casinos; I went just to have fun with my cousin. And I haven't gone back since.

three points and a poem (n) a once-popular structure for Christian sermons in America , especially the South; of late, preaching has moved in a more narrative direction